“All at once, as they walked still in the open, the wind died. Someone shut a valve? Her stance nearly toppled her; he caught her. Her ears pricked. The silence unnerved her. The air’s emptiness felt like Maytree beside her had died. They looked at each other. – I feel like I’ve lost consciousness, he said, hoarse.”
– Annie Dillard – The Maytrees
The wind as consciousness.
This was my view from the top of Mt. Indefatiguable. It was almost a two hour trek straight up – a massive feat in my history. The wind got stronger and stronger as I became more and more exposed on the mountain top – I could feel it as soon as we made our way past the treeline. I started to feel shaky and a sense of fear. There was a small space for us to stand at the top and the wind was tossing us around – I was clausterphobic.
At the same time I felt a great excitement standing there in the face of the wind. I felt very alive. The wind blowing at me and made me aware of my fear of loss of control. There are so many extreme elements of nature that I don’t have any control over. I feared scrambling down the loose rock and dirt. The wind was so deafening it aggrivated my fears and made them very dominant. The awareness that was raised in me was so loud that I needed to climb down into the trees to think and write.
I understand when Maytree describes how he feels as though he lost consciousness when the wind stopped. In contrast to his experience – the wind tossed all of the thoughts within me right into my face and forced my attention to be drawn to them.